Silly Rabbit, Guns Are for Kids

Not sure about the logic here. A little help?

From the "Camping Reminders" guidelines of the Fleetwood RV Camping Resort, across the street from the Lowe's Motor Speedway in Charlotte, NC. (The belly of the beast! I'm in the belly of the beast!)

FIREWORKS/FIREARMS: For the safety of our guests, fireworks and firearms are strictly prohibited. Fireworks and firearms will be confiscated and can result in expulsion from the park without refund and/or prosecution.

ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES: Fleetwood RV Camping Resort is a family-oriented resort, as such the use of alcohol in open containers is prohibited. Please contain alcoholic beverages in non-distinguishable containers. Excessive drunkenness will result in expulsion from the park without refund and/or prosecution.

So let me get this straight: they catch you packing heat...maybe maybe not they kick you out of the park ("can result in expulsion"). They catch you wasted: you're out ("will result in expulsion").

Dude--what the fuck is wrong with these people??

Because there are at least two major things wrong with this policy. First and foremost, it being an RV park, i.e., a place where people park the motor vehicles to which they are wedded/attached, if you kick someone out for being drunk they will have to get in their RV and drive it somewhere. As in, you're telling people who are excessively drunk that, because they are excessively drunk, they're going to have to get in their vehicle and drive away. (What the fuck is wrong with these people??) The second major thing wrong with this policy is that while they're busy making their establishment safe from slurry speech and potential public urination, they give far less of shit if someone pulls out a, um, different kind of weapon [sorry about that], effectively saying that alcohol is more dangerous to the peace and welfare of their little makeshift community than is a dischargeable weapon.

But you know what might be worst of all? I expected this. What's worst of all is that when I came across this only part of me was flabbergasted; the rest of me just kind of mentally shrugged, the silent voice inside my head saying, Of course.

Of course this bible belt business would be more concerned with, I don't know...god! what the fuck are they concerned about? (Apparently I do need a little help here.) Is it people pulling out their peckers and making little smiley faces in the sand by their site? Is it the afore-mentioned slurriness? Is what they're afraid of a night full of catcalls and Rebel Yells, an endless string of Git 'er Dun's? If so, why the edict that booze needs to be in "non-distinguishable" containers, and why the mention of Fleetwood being a "family-oriented" resort? And why, for the love of a dead christ, is this preamble of family orientation not a part of the gun rule???

Who are these people? And why are they voting in my elections? And what is their conception of the world, that they can love one of history's most flaming pacifists on Sunday, then make love to their guns on Monday? He turned the fuckin water into wine, dickheads, not bullets.

I really need to get out of the South.